The current response to this is “Well, I’ve been on goddamn crutches the past six weeks.” On February 9th I completely snapped my fibula, and the day after I went to the hospital
, shuffling from station to station, doctor to doctor, for them to tell me that yes, I had a broken fibula, and then they stuck me on a cast from my toes up to my thigh. It wasn’t the being on crutches necessarily that got me down; once I got used to the upper-body workout, it really wasn’t that bad. The worst part was just the helplessness; I couldn’t carry things, I couldn’t open doors, it took me at least twice as long to get to places. Anyone who knows me can agree that I hate asking for favors, I hate being dependent on people, and I hate being taken care of. So having all of these traits thrust on me all of a sudden, with people that I love but I still feel like I shouldn’t be asking favors from in a country I’m still relatively unfamiliar with, was killer. I spent way too much time just hermitting in my office or my dorm.I did learn a lot, though. I learned patience. You’d think that I’d have enough patience lessons, what with teaching low-level English students, but apparently I needed more. I got some great arms now, and I lost a little bit of weight, since I wasn’t eating as much. I learned a little bit of communication, but I’m still bad at asking for things that I need. And I had a couple of moments of breakdowns where I freaked out my coworkers by bursting into tears or sulked for a day over something seemingly silly, more apologies. I also learned to not get my hopes up too much; the doctor initially said I should get my cast off at four weeks, then told me then it would be another two weeks, so I need to remember to take things with a grain of caution.
With my free leg, I have to say that I appreciate things a lot more. When my doctor cut off my cast, I could hear angels singing in the background. His orders: “Go slow; if it hurts, stop.” So I’ve been slowly walking, I got on my bike and it actually hurts less than walking, and I can go up and down the stairs pretty quickly, though I still can’t bend my leg while putting weight on it. I’m not sure if that’s physical or psychological, since that’s how I finally snapped the thing. But I’m going to start on bike rides, yoga, etc. Simple things until I go back to the doctor next month for a follow-up x-ray. I don’t think I could run or do kick-boxing yet, though. I still get jabs of pain when I land the wrong way getting off a bus or get a bit of uneven pavement walking. It’s a slow recovery, but it’s a recovery.
In happier news, spring has arrived! With the sunlight, the flowers, and my new-found freedom, I feel like happiness has just vomited all over my life. As I write I look out the window and I see a tree full of beautiful white flowers, fresh green leaves gently falling into the lake, and sunlight filtering its way through the smog. I’m wearing a short-sleeve shirt today, appropriate for the weather in the seventies (lower twenties for you Celsius people). I keep my window in my dorm open during the day, letting in the first fresh air in months. It’s the perfect weather to find any excuse to go outside with my classes. Which is both a terrible tease and a savior, since this is our seven-day workweek before we have a vacation. Thanks, China.
So I’m going to “real China” on Sunday, visiting a friend’s hometown up north by Shenyang. I’m sure that’ll be an experience. Then at the end of April, a whole big group of us (something like eight people) are going to Chengdu, land of parties and PANDAS! I’m excited. It’ll be a good way to relax, explore a new city, cuddle a panda… No biggie. Then hopefully May will hold visitors and perhaps a weekend trip to Nanjing and/or Xi’an… then June will be here before we know it. Looking into a couple of possible trips after school is out, hopefully involving beaches. (Gentle workouts planned in preparation for these beaches.) Then home for a month! Not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited for life right now. I feel like my six weeks of inconvenience has gotten all my bad karma out of the way for a while, and I’m excited for a smooth ride from here on out.
